Day 4

It's the fourth day of knowing he doesn't love me.

Last night I went out with girlfriends and got a bit drunk, and it was ok. So of course today I've been kind of tired, and I'm really really not able to live like this, it seems. I really just can't understand that he's not just out of town or something. He's not coming back to me because he doesn't want to. I want to go to him and beg him to try again.

When he ended it he said maybe we could take a break and try again in a couple of months when he'd be in a more calm place. But I was hurt, and very scared of getting hurt again, and I said I didn't think it would work anyway. Why did I say that? Can it get worse than this? I thought I'd be feeling easier soon, but I just feel worse every day. I feel like it can't be true. I don't cry as much, but I hurt more. I really REALLY can't believe it.